How to Interact with a Person who has CFIDS

I found out that a more accurate name for CFS is CFIDS (Chronic Fatigue and Immune Deficiency Syndrome) so I will be using CFIDS instead of CFS from now on.  

After being diagnosed with CFIDS I have gotten many questions about it.  It is totally fine for anyone to ask me whatever questions you have, but it's hard for me to come up with answers because of a lack of energy to talk about it and the brain fog makes it really hard for me to think in the moment.  Because of that, I am going to explain some things about CFIDS that I have been asked a lot.  If you are learning about CFIDS on your own, the best place to get information is CFIDS Association of America.  I looked at the advice the site gives friends and family for helping someone who has CFIDS, and it says exactly what I was thinking but couldn't explain!  Just so you know, I will probably be posting/copying a lot since it is very hard and exhausting to come up with my own way of saying things. I have highlighted the advice from the site, and my comments are in black.

• CFIDS affects every aspect of an individual's life.  Be aware of the emotional struggles that a patient goes through. Definitely...Every day I realize there are things that I probably won't be able to do again, and it makes me very sad, frustrated, and angry.  One part of treatment is writing out things that you are upset about and finding something good to replace it with.  I will be doing that later this week.  Around others I try to be as positive and uplifting as possible, but there are many times when I'm alone when I definitely have trouble getting a hold of my emotions.  Please don't assume that nothing about this upsets me and that it hasn't changed everything I thought my life would be like.  It has.
• CFIDS is an invisible illness, meaning that there are few obvious signs that the patient is ill. Although the person may look "normal" when you're together, you may not see the relapse that follows activity.  Many patients want to function at their best when with friends, but privately pay a price later.  Exactly.  Many people look at me like they don't believe I'm sick because they can't see it.  They often tell me that I'm boring or lazy for not wanting to continue to hang out with them or even continuing a conversation.  This is frustrating because I would love to do those things, but I know that if I do, I probably wouldn't last more than a few minutes, and I would be sick for weeks after just one night of fun. Also, it may sound strange but carrying on a conversation is really hard for me. I can listen really well when someone is talking, but responding can be difficult.  It takes so much of my energy to talk, and talking for more than a few minutes makes my lymph nodes in my neck swell more than usual.  It then becomes very painful to talk.
• It is difficult for CFIDS patients to make advance plans and plans often must be canceled at the last moment.  Because overexertion leads to relapses, previously enjoyed activities must often be altered or given up.  This places a tremendous strain on partners and friends.  Accept that you may not be able to enjoy the same activities with the patient as you used to.  Try to keep plans and expectations flexible to accommodate unpredictable symptom changes in the patient.  I'm sure many of you have experienced a time when I cancelled on you at the last minute.  I know this happens a lot, and I hate it.  I hate that people can't count on me to do what I say I will do even though I know it's not my fault.  I hate hearing the disappointment in their voice even though I know they understand and they just want to spend time with me.  This is one thing I think will take me a long time to get used to.  This is also why I often avoid making plans.  Sometimes just the thought of having to shower and get dressed in order to go out frustrates me because I know that in itself will probably make me sick to the point where I can't go out.
• Memory impairment in patients may cause them to interrupt to say what they think because if they don't, they will forget it.  If these interruptions are distracting, ask the patient to jot down notes during the conversation.  OHMYGOSH YES!!  This is one of the most annoying things that I have to deal with.  It seems like every time I open my mouth to speak I either loose my train of thought half way through the sentence and can't recall what I was talking about or I can't recall words that I am trying to say.  Just ask Nick...He finishes all of my sentences and has to remind me what we are talking about at least 5 times during our conversations.
• Avoid making well-intentioned comments such as "I know how you feel" or "I get tired often too".  Healthy people obviously experience some symptoms of CFIDS from time to time, although not as frequently and severely as patients do. These statements may be perceived as insensitive and hurtful, potentially damaging closeness and trust.  This one is also true.  Many people try to tell me things that they do when they are tired, but none of those things will help me.  This is not normal exhaustion, and I have to do things differently than "normal" people.  If I ask for advice, feel free to tell me what you think, but don't be upset if I don't follow it.  
• CFIDS is not a logical illness.  Understand that a patient may be fine to participate in an activity one minute and feel really sick the next minute.  Respect the need of the patient to prioritize, rest, and discontinue any activity at the first hint of fatigue or other symptoms.  Definitely.  This happens a lot.  I can be perfectly fine, go grocery shopping, and in the middle of getting groceries feel so sick like I'm going to collapse or faint.  Simply walking up a flight of stairs can make me go from feeling great to the point where my whole body shakes and I have to lay down. It is not fun.  I can also feel like I have a lot of energy for hanging out with friends but 5 minutes later be completely exhausted and need to go home.  Because of this, it is hard for me to answer when you ask me how I am feeling.  More than likely in that day alone I have gone back and forth from feeling ok to be up to needing to sit or lay down.
• When you are unsure about what would be helpful, ask! You are not expected to be a mind reader, and giving unwanted help or advice may cause resentment.  Don't be shy or worried that you will say something wrong.  I would rather you ask me your questions than just do something that makes it worse for me when you thought it would help me.  I will also be honest and let you know when I do need something.  When you ask me if you can do something for me, it is hard for me to think about things that I need.  It would be easier on me if you asked specifics such as "Can I do your grocery shopping" or "Can I clean something for you".

These are the main things that most people have wondered about or I think people need to understand.  I'm sure I will think of more as time goes by, but for now these are the most important.  Feel free to ask me anything, but don't be upset if it takes me a few minutes to think of an answer.  I am so grateful for the friends and family members that care so much and want to help as much as possible.  I have been very blessed.  Check back tomorrow for my list of positives and negatives!

Jeffrey R. Holland: Laborers in the Vineyard

I'm completely exhausted and not feeling great so I didn't go to church today.  I decided to watch some General Conference videos while Nick is at church, and Laborers in the Vineyard by Jeffrey R. Holland was the first one to come to my mind.  Can I just say I am in love with this talk?? It is probably my favorite conference talk of all time!  This is probably because it hits a spot that is very special to me.

All my life I never understood the parable of the Laborers in the Vineyard. For those of you who don't know what it is, watch the video at the bottom of the page first. It was so frustrating to me because I didn't think it was fair that they all got paid the same wage even though some people worked all day and some people only worked for an hour at the end of the day.  This is probably because I worked pollinating cornfields every summer since I was 14 and I absolutely HATED it.  I can honestly say I've never hated anything more than that.  I literally knew exactly how it felt to labor all day in a field.  If I went to work one day and at the end of the day I got paid the same amount as someone who only worked the last hour I would be livid.  Like throw a fit livid.  I would picture that person out with friends all day, coming to work the last hour (which is the easiest hour), and going back out with friends for the night. I would then picture myself going to work in the morning, working through the dew that makes the corn super itchy and scratchy, working through the hottest hours of the day drenched in sweat with bugs and pollen all over me, pushing through to the end when I think I can't work anymore, and finally going home to shower only to find that I was too tired to do anything but rest until it was time to go to work again.  Do you blame me for not understanding this parable?

2 years ago I took a religion class at BYU, and we talked about this parable.  The teacher made every difference in the way that I saw this parable.  He explained what times were like back then and what the people went through.  I finally understood the parable because I wasn't literally applying it to my life anymore.  I simply needed to literally apply it to times back then, find the meaning, and apply the meaning to my life now. I absolutely love this parable now, and it means so much to me. 

My teacher explained that in those times, many people would line up on the streets waiting for someone to come hire them for the day.  They did this every day, and on days that they didn't find a job they didn't have money to feed their families.  Those that were hired to work in the morning were so blessed because they had a job for the day.  They didn't have to worry about finding a job so they could have money to feed their family that night.  Those that were chosen at the last hour were probably so grateful for the chance to work even one hour of wages, let alone a whole day's wage.  They probably worried all day that they weren't going to find work, and by the last hour they had lost hope that anyone would hire them.

In these circumstances, even if I was one who started work in the morning, I would be glad that more people got to work to earn money for their families.  If they hadn't found work, I would even be tempted to give them the money that I earned so that their children didn't have to starve.  After this clicked in my brain, the meaning of the parable finally came through to me.  As members of the Lord's church, we work in His vineyard every day.  People join the church at all different stages of their lives, but we all get the same reward: all that the Father has!  Were you so excited when you realized this?!  I was ecstatic!!  Plus, I am truly blessed to have started in the "Vineyard" as a young child.  I had the comfort and help that the knowledge of the Gospel brings in the trials of life.  I had guidance and direction.  Because of this, I was able to avoid many of the sorrows of life, just as those who started work in the vineyard did when they didn't have to worry all day about whether or not they were going to feed their family that night. Those people that join the church later in life didn't have that guidance and comfort throughout life.  They were lost and had to figure things out on their own.  

Plus, when those of us who have been faithful members of the church our whole lives get to the Celestial Kingdom, we won't stand at the door and forbid those who didn't serve as long as we did to come in.  The thought of that is just ridiculous!  We will be throwing the door wide open, ready to receive anyone who is worthy to come in!  Now that thought makes me so extremely happy!  I would love if everyone could be worthy to be in the Celestial Kingdom and partake of the blessings that come with that!  Realizing this makes me want to go out and share the gospel with everyone I see! 

After finally realizing all of this, I am in love with this parable because it makes me want to be the best person I can possibly be.  It makes me want to share the gospel, stop judging others, and serve as many people as I possibly can. When I heard Jeffrey R. Holland's talk about this, I fell in love with it even more.  I hope that all of you can find the joy and light of this parable as much as I have.  Here is Elder Holland's talk for those of you who haven't heard it or want to hear it again!  I seriously watched this like 5 times today.

Don't be afraid of sharing your thoughts!  I love hearing other people's views.  We all sometimes find different ways to apply meanings to our lives, and I would love to know what you got out of the parable or the video!

First week of goals...here I go...

OK so now that I know what is going on with my body I have goals that I need to set so I can get better.  Like I mentioned before, I need people to be accountable to so I will be posting whether or not I complete my goals for each day.  Feel free to give me any tips or ideas that might help me or reprimand me for not following these goals very well.

My First goal is to set and stick to a graded exercise program.  For those that don't know what that means, it is an exercise program that starts with almost no exercise and very very gradually leads up to more.  For the first week, I am going to stretch for 5 minutes 3 times a day.  When this week is over, I will plan the next week depending on how I am doing.

Times/Days	Wednesday	Thursday	Friday	Saturday	Monday	Tuesday
1	no	yes	yes	yes
2	no	no	yes	no
3	no	yes	yes	no

My Second goal is to set and stick to a sleep schedule.  I am supposed to try to sleep at only these times no matter how tired I am.  If I find I am too tired to stay awake with this schedule then I need to plan more time for sleep.  I am more tired around 12 than I am any other time so that's when I'm going to take my nap.

Times/Days	Wednesday	Thursday	Friday	Saturday	Sunday	Monday	Tuesday
Wake 8:00	yes	8:30	yes	8:30	9:30
Nap 12:00-2:00	yes	yes	no	no
Bed 9:00	10:00	9:00	11:00	11:00

My third goal is to set and stick to a specific diet of no sugar, little gluten, and and no processed foods.  This one shouldn't be too hard since I am eating pretty healthy already.  

Foods/Days	Wednesday	Thursday	Friday	Saturday	Sunday	Monday	Tuesday
No Sugar	yes	yes	yes	yes
Little Gluten	yes	yes	yes	no
No Processed Foods	no	yes	yes	no

The first thing that I want to do is to be able to go to church again.  I often make it to Sacrament Meeting, but I crash after that and have to go home.  I think one of the problems is that our church is from 1:00 pm to 4:00 pm.  That's right during the time when I feel the worst and am the most tired during the day.  We go to a married student ward, and I'm wondering if we should switch to the family ward so that we can go to church before I get tired.  We love our ward and don't want to switch, and the switch might not make it any better anyways.  Even on days when I'm feeling great just sitting through sacrament meeting wipes me out and I still have to go home afterwards.  Any ideas that might help me with this?

Finally...a Diagnosis

As most of you know, I have been sick on and off for the past year and a half, and I always thought it was mono.  Most of the symptoms I've had are very similar to mono, and the three different doctors that I went to said it was mono.  They also told me that there was nothing that I or they could do and that I just had to wait it out until it got better within a month or so.  After a year and a half, its still here.  I ended up having to quit work and most of my classes because I was so sick.  I finally started feeling better at the end of November, and I was so sure that it was going away. I continued to rest and eat as healthy as I could.  I then decided I was well enough to start exercising. Last week I did 30 minutes of relaxing yoga on Tuesday and Thursday. On Friday, my body just fell apart.  Every muscle in my body ached as if I had run a marathon, my lymph nodes everywhere in my body were swollen more than usual, and i was completely exhausted.  I just felt so sick!  I went to the doctor early this week to make sure that my spleen wasn't swollen since I had a lot of pain there, and she told me that mono wouldn't be flare as much as it was with just a little bit of exercise.  She did some tests and diagnosed me with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.

I wanted a second opinion so I went to another doctor that I researched that has a lot of experience with chronic fatigue syndrome, and he agreed that's what it was.  For those of you who don't know what CFS is, I'm just going to copy and paste from The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention because I'm tired and my brain just doesn't want to work right now.

  "Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, or CFS, is a debilitating and complex disorder characterized by profound fatigue that is not improved by bed rest and that may be worsened by physical or mental activity.  Symptoms affect several body systems which can result in reduced participation in daily activities.

The fatigue of CFS is accompanied by characteristic illness symptoms lasting at least 6 months.  These symptoms include increased extreme exhaustion and sickness following physical activity or mental exertion, insomnia, fevers,  memory/concentration problems, brain fog, muscle and joint pain, swollen lymph nodes and spleen, sore throat, fainting, dizziness, weakness, allergies, sensitivities to odors, chills and night sweats, visual and aural disturbances, and depression or anxiety.

While symptoms vary from person to person in number, type, and severity, all CFS patients are limited in what they can do to some degree.  CFS can be as disabling as multiple sclerosis, lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, heart disease, and similar chronic conditions.

CFS often affects patients in cycles: patients will have periods of illness (can last for years) followed by periods of relative well-being.  For some patients, symptoms may diminish or even go into complete remission; however, they often recur at a later point in time.  This pattern of remission and relapse makes CFS especially hard for patients to manage.  Patients who are in remission may be tempted to overdo activities when they're feeling better, but this overexertion may actually contribute to a relapse.

The percentage of CFS patients who recover is unknown, but there is some evidence to indicate that patients benefit when accompanying conditions are identified and treated and when symptoms are managed.  High quality health care is important" (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention).

There's not much that can be done for treating it, but there are a few things that they can do.  The main treatments are controlling symptoms, followng a GEP (graded exercise program), sticking to a strict sleep schedule and diet, changing daily activities, and using cognitive behavioral therapy to learn how to live with the fatigue and other symptoms in everyday life.

I am doing alright, and I have lots of people that are eager to help in any way that they can.  My visiting teachers, home teachers, neighbors, friends, and family have all helped so much with anything that we need.  We have been very blessed, and we are so grateful to everyone for their prayers and help.  One thing I've learned is that I need someone to be accountable to with my treatment plans so that I will follow them well.  For this reason I will be posting my treatment plans on here.  I know especially when I'm so exhausted that I don't like worrying about exercising, eating, sleeping on schedule, and whatever else. Feel free to get on me if I'm not following them!

I mostly feel so relieved that we have a definitive diagnosis!  I was so confused why all of a sudden I was allergic to gluten, needed glasses, had hearing problems, became very anxious, and for the life of me could not make my mind focus on my classes.  It feels great to have a reason why all those things have happened.  Even though this is worse than mono, I'm glad I finally know what it is.

Also, I am continuing my education until I graduate.  I have a few online classes that are super easy and I can work on them when my mind decides to work, and other than that I only have 4 or 5 classes left until I graduate.  I plan on taking one class a semester so I don't overdo anything.  I may graduate a few years late, but I will graduate!

I'm also starting this blog to keep myself busy so I don't keep watching Netflix all day.  After watching it every day for a year and a half its extremely boring.  Pretty sure I have every episode of the office completely memorized.  Test me, I dare you :)

Well, not much has happened in our lives lately.  School has ended and Nick and I are both working full time for the summer!  It's really not exciting, but it will be a nice break from school.  We both don't get done with work until 8pm every day, though.  I feel like we miss out a lot on seeing our friends or even doing things on our own, but it's really awesome to be able to sleep in every morning!  That's really nice.  My parents brought us their old treadmill in February since they never use it, and since then, Nick and I have been running every day!  I still absolutely hate running, but I have gotten used to it.  It has been a little difficult for me to get back into normal life after being sick for so long.  I feel like the exercising helps a bit.

A few days ago Nick and I got to go to Mesa for my brother's wedding!  That was pretty fun, but it was a really fast trip.  We flew into Phoenix on Monday night.  We stayed the night at my cousin's house somewhere in Maricopa.  It was really great to see him and his family.

In the morning, Nick and I drove to Mesa to meet Nick's mom and brother.  They live in Flagstaff, and they drove down to see us for a few hours!  We went to eat at The Cheesecake Factory and it was soooo good!!  Then, we walked around a mall and just kinda hung out.  It was a lot of fun, and it was great to see them.

Then, we went to the Mesa Temple for Brandon's wedding!  It was really great, and it was fun taking pictures afterwards.  It was such a beautiful day, and it was the perfect temperature!  Not too hot, but definitely not cold.  I absolutely hate cold weather.  Phoenix would be a great place for me to live.

After we took pictures, we went to the reception.  It was gorgeous!  They had such cute decorations!  The food was also really good.  Here are just some of the great decorations:

Brandon and my new sister, Sabrina! I just love her!

We had to go get Arby's for my dad because he was allergic to everything served at the reception.  It looked a little weird, haha.

We loved dancing together!

At the end of the reception, we got sparklers while Brandon and Sabrina went to their car and drove away.  It was fun, but I am terrified of sparklers!  When I was like 5 years old I burned my lip with one and apparently I'm still scared of them..  They are a lot of fun, and I didn't even realize I was afraid until after I lit mine.  Then I tried to stay as far away from them as I could!

The next morning, we had to wake up at 3:30 in the morning to catch out flight back to Utah.  We got there just fine, but I was so nauseous and sick that we missed our flight.  It took until about 3:00 until I felt good enough to get on the plane, but then our flight got delayed and we didn't end up getting home until 8:00 pm.  It was the worst day of my life!  Overall, though, it was a great trip!  I should probably go now, its getting late! Plus, I don't really have much more to talk about.

Buddy

I found out today that my dad had to put my dog, Buddy down.  He hurt his hip a few months ago, and the medication wasn't helping at all.  He has just been in so much pain the last few months and since the vet couldn't help at all, my family decided that it was time to let him go. I know that he was super old, and its best for him that we let him go, but I can't seem to stop crying about it.  I think if I talk about him for a few minutes it might help, so if you aren't into dogs, you probably won't want to keep reading.

My family got Buddy right before my 8th birthday.  I was in Wisconsin visiting my cousin, and when they came to pick me up they brought him along as a surprise!

When we got home, we realized that having a new puppy and a newborn (my brother JJ was born like a month before we got Buddy) was pretty crazy.  Buddy chewed EVERYTHING! All of my toys had bite marks or an arm or leg missing, my stuffed animals all had holes, my shoes had holes, even some of my clothes had holes from him jumping up on us.  He was such a sweet dog, though.  He was just always so happy to see us and play with us. Here is a picture of Buddy and JJ.  JJ would climb all over Buddy, but Buddy was still so protective of him.  He also loved to suck on JJ's pacifiers.

At this age, I had really bad nightmares pretty often.  I still ran in to my parents room, but they kept telling me that I had to stop.  When we got Buddy, he started sleeping on my bed every night.  When I woke up with nightmares and saw him there, I knew that I was safe.  I still had nightmares often, even up until I left for college, and he was always the one that I looked to for comfort.

We took him camping with us in Michigan when he was a puppy.  He loved the water, but he didn't like not being able to sleep in the tent.

Before we got a fence put in our yard, we had to keep him chained up outside when he wasn't inside.  One day, I went to go unchain him and bring him inside.  When I knelt down to reach his collar, he scratched my leg up pretty good cause he was so excited to see me.  I still have a 3-4 inch scar on my leg from that, and I hope it never goes away.  It makes me think of how happy he was to see me whenever I look at it.

Buddy definitely had a hold on my heart.  I would let him lick my face whenever he wanted even though it was gross and smelly.  I would let him have occasion licks of my popsickles. I never got mad when he ended up scratching me because he was so excited to see me.  I cried every night the week that he got sprayed by a skunk and wasn't allowed in the house to sleep in my bed.  I never had much fun on the 4th of July with fireworks because I was so busy worrying about Buddy.  (He was terrified of them!) It also just broke my heart whenever I would visit home after I left for BYU because he would follow me everywhere, and I felt so bad that I had to leave him again.  I know he was ok with my family, and they also loved him a lot, but I always felt like he thought I was leaving him behind or something.

(You can kind of see him hiding behind me in this picture)

We had an electric underground fence put in.  It worked pretty well, but sometimes if there was another dog or a cat on the other side of the fence, Buddy would run through anyways.  When this would happen, I would just take some dog treats and walk along the border of the cornfield behind our house.  I would find him pretty quickly and take him back home.  One day, we couldn't find him, so I assumed he had jumped the fence.  I went looking for him, but I couldn't find him anywhere.  I went home and just cried forever because I was so worried.  It turns out that my dad took him to Lowe's with him.  Buddy jumped out of the car when my dad opened the door, and my dad drove home without him! He never even remembered that he took him with him until later that day when he saw me crying about it.  He went back to Lowe's, and Buddy was still in the parking lot having a blast meeting new people.

It was always hard to go on vacation when we had Buddy.  We tried taking him to someone else's house while we were gone, but he just made himself sick and wouldn't eat because he thought we left him.  We ended up just leaving him at home and getting someone to come feed him every day.  The reason that didn't work was because he was terrified of thunder storms, and in Indiana during the summer months, you have them all the time.  We got home once from vacation and he had been so terrified during a storm that he had torn up our front entrance trying to get in the house.

Buddy absolutely loved walks.  If someone would even just say the word, he would run and get his leash and jump all over us until someone finally took him out.  Once he got bigger, he was so hard to take for a walk because he was so strong!  I struggled for awhile, but soon enough I got stronger and didn't have to struggle anymore.  When my friends would want to take him on a walk, they would always get mad that I wouldn't let them hold the leash.  I would always warn them that he was going to pull and that they would have to pull back and not let him go, and they would agree.  They always ended up letting him go because he pulled to hard, though.  It frustrated me so much because then I would have to chase after him and try to grab his leash. A lot of times my mom would tell me that I would just have to come home and wait for him to come back.  He would always come back once he was done exploring the woods and the neighbors, but we lived not even half a mile from the freeway, and I was always terrified that he would head that way.  I always fought with my mom about her letting me go get him. I couldn't handle the thought that he would be run over by a car because I let him go or because I didn't go after him.  Thankfully, he was always ok.

He was always trying to protect us.  When JJ was a baby, he was very protective of him. Once, he found a raccoon in our garage and fought it out.  My dad ended up having to go kill the raccoon with a shovel and make sure it didn't rabies because it had bit Buddy during the fight.  That was pretty scary.  He also had this thing against specific males.  He hated my grandpa and one of my uncles.  He could be having a great time wrestling with us, but the minute one of those guys walked in the room he would jump up and growl until they would leave.  He got used to my grandpa over time because my grandpa would carry around treats to give to him.  One time when my uncle came to visit, we were out doing errands.  We told him that he could get in the house through the garage and wait for us to get home.  He said he went up to the bedroom and he was putting his stuff down on  the bed when he heard Buddy growling at him from the doorway.  Apparently, Buddy had followed him inside and trapped him in the room.  My uncle has been in the army since he was like 19, and he was too scared to move until we got home and told Buddy to leave him alone.  I was so impressed when I heard that.  I've never really seen Buddy look mean before, and he's just so sweet that it's weird to imagine that he could be that way.

He was always trying to catch birds and squirrels.  One summer, we found that we had a nest of birds in our grill.  We decided to leave it alone so that we could see the eggs hatch.  They finally hatched, and the birds grew stronger.  One day I walked past it and looked in, and there were like 6 little birds trying to fly around in there.  I decided it was time to lift the lid and let them out into the world.  I opened it up, and three of them flew right out.  Turns out I totally didn't even think to make sure Buddy wasn't outside at this moment and he ended up catching one of them right in his mouth.  I was so mad at him that day!

Our house sat right beside the woods in Indiana, and whenever he would start barking in the direction of the woods, I always thought either a bear or a kidnapper was out there, and I would get scared and run inside.  For some reason, I was always afraid of bears even though I'm pretty sure they don't live anywhere near Indiana.

When we got our second dog, Tinkerbell, Buddy HATED her.  He had had our family to himself for about 7 years, and he did not like Tinkerbell taking over.  He eventually got used to her, but he always tried to avoid her.  When he got older and Tink got bigger, Tink was a big bully to him so I'm not a big fan of hers.  She's super cute, but actually really stupid.  Buddy had learned some tricks, and he always seemed to know what we were saying to him, but Tink acts like no one ever talks to her, and she just always does whatever she wants.  This is Buddy with Tink when she was a puppy:

When I was 15, I had braces on my teeth.  One day while I was loading the dishwasher, Buddy was licking the plates. He wasn't allowed to do that, so I kept shooing him away.  He kept coming right back, so finally I had had enough.  I bent down, put my arms around his neck, and yanked him away from the dishwasher with all my strength.  His reaction was to snap his head back at me to get me to stop. I let go of him, but somehow his tooth got caught on my braces.  When he pulled away, he pulled my teeth with him!  Turns out he had pulled out the front two teeth completely, and the rest of the teeth had all moved slightly forward.  I was in so much pain!  We called the orthodontist, and he said he would meet me at his office the next morning even though it was closed on Fridays so he could fix what he could.  I was in so much pain that night, so my dad gave me a blessing.  Turns out my front two teeth regrew their roots over night (they were still sitting there because they were still attached to the braces) and the rest of my teeth moved a little bit back to where they were.  The orthodontist was still shocked about what happened, but he decided to leave everything where it was since it was moving itself back.  It all ended up ok, but I always got teased for "making out with my dog" whenever I had an orthodontist appointment.

The last few days in Indiana before we moved to Idaho, Buddy knew something was going on.  Every time someone would open up the car door, he would jump in and refuse to get out for hours sometimes because he didn't want to get left behind.  Even when we finally did leave, it took forever to get him out when we stopped to rest at the hotel on our drive there.  When we finally got to Idaho, all of us kids and the dogs had to spend the day in my parent's bathroom/closet so we wouldn't get in the movers way.  Their bathroom was pretty big so we pulled a mattress in there and watched a movie or two.  We also ordered pizza and took a nap.

For some reason, Buddy had this weird thing with hats, scrunchies, and gloves.  I could never wear scrunchies when I was little because if I did, he would attack my head until he got the scrunchy out of my hair.  When JJ was like a year or two old, he had his snowsuit on, and he was standing outside with us.  Buddy grabbed his hat and ran around the yard with it while JJ was still attached.  That was actually really funny.  When we would put gloves on, he wouldn't try to run around with it, he would just attack your hands until you took them off.  We ended up using that as a game inside to wrestle with him.  It was pretty fun, but my mom would always get mad because it would really tear up the gloves.  We never had gloves that didn't have at least one hole in them.

If you ever had food (especially popcorn), Buddy and Tinkerbell would both follow you around until it was all gone.  This is my brother JJ.  He took popcorn to his room to watch a movie on a laptop and both the dogs followed him there.

This is getting really long and I feel like I could go on forever so I should probably stop here. What I will always remember the most about Buddy is that he always knew how I was feeling.  If I was happy, he would always wag his tail and have a party with me.  If I was sad, he would come lay by me, put his head in my lap, and look up at me with his big sweet eyes until I told him it was ok.  He was always there to comfort me, and I will always be grateful to him for that.